I need you like water , like breath , like rain .

I need you like mercy from heaven's gate .

there's a freedom in your arms that carry me through .

I NEED YOU .

granddad passes away yesterday morning .

mum had to keep it from me 'cos i had A levels chinese .

i still can't get over it . 

i want him back so bad it hurts . i would give anything to have him back .

i know he's off to a better place , but i really miss him .

he wanted to settle me down overseas, see me get my degree , see me get married .

he bathed me when i was young , slept with me when my parents were not around .

he cheered me up when i was down , picked me up when no one was around .

he has been my pillar of strength when mum and dad were away .

he held my hand to his lips and kissed it whenever i went to visit him .

he loves me so much and i love him too 

why does it have to happen so quickly ?

grandpa , i miss you .

MY SEXY SEVENTEENTH ! :)

WARNING : this is going to be a long post .

first , i'm going to thank the sweet sweet people who wished me !

to BFF : thanks so much for the absolutely DELICIOUS desert ! I LOVE YOU till the end of time ! i will always be here for you ! :)

to sally : thanks so much ! :) i miss our IG though .

to evon : thanks for the beautiful present ! :) i heart you long time ! 

to bob : thanks bob for the shirt and the bday wishes ! we have to go out with agu one day ! 

to zhongping : thank you so much ! we haven't talked for a long time , so thanks ! :)

to luke : thank you so much for remembering ! :) see you soon !

to joanna phoon : thank you babe ! :) i miss you in class ! 

to jeong : thank you jeong ! :) and we won't leave you behind ! T10 ftw ! 

to aris : haha , thanks aris ! :) all the best for hey gorgeous ! 

to nicola : thank you so much babe ! :) you're 2 days after mine so happy sexy 17th ! :)

to joanne : thanks so much babe ! :) big hugs !

to jasmine chong : big hugs babe ! i miss you ! thanks alot ! :)

to jasmine : thanks so much ! see you soon ! :)

to liangsheng : thank you for all that you've done ! :) big hugs !

to mickey : thanks babe ! and for the chalet you're planning too ! :)

to damian : thank you teapot leader ! :) you're the best TPL !

to chiaps : for the beautiful post-its and the sweet blog entry ! :) LOVE !

to zhiyan : thanks babe for the sweet bracelet and all the sat sessions ! love ! :)

to heidi : thanks princess ! you always make me feel loved ! :)

to xinying : thanks so much singing ! :) big hugs ! 

to debra : thanks so much babe ! see you soon ! :)

to zhi ning : thanks babe ! both you and your twin ! :)

to xin ye : thanks darling ! :) you're the best ! 

to  geraldine : thanks sis ! you should just go get married with xavier alrd ! :)

to ting ying : smallie ! thank you ! i'll see you soon ! :) love !

to porkee : thank you ! i miss having you in class too ! and thanks for the blog entry too ! :)

to gifford : thanks ! i'll see you at singout i think ! :)

to jing kai : yes , it was my bday . hahaha , thanks RAIN . :)

to ping chong : it was random , but thanks ! :)

to tessa : thank you mrs. curly ! :) love you estate friend ! :)

to allison and claudia : thank you dears ! please come over to spore soon ! :)

to wei liang : thanks friend ! :) yours is coming soon !

to karyn : thank you pretty ! :) love you !

to gonghua : thanks PPSF ! for the presents and the pretty pretty picture ! i love you long time ! and yes we'll be friends forever CJCPPSFBF !

to gavin : thanks gavs ! you're the funniest senior ever ! :) hahaha .

to the BC : thank you so much darlings ! ya'll help me make college so much more fun ! i totally love the morning meetings and the absolutely sweet  present ! you know i love boards and scrapbooks ! :) i heart ya'll nong nong time ! :)

to jianyong : thanks so much babe ! for the sweet tart (damn big) and the shirt and clutch ! :)

and for always being there ! my personal bus guide . :)

to meixi : thank you for the sweet music box and for being so sweet and such a nice friend ! i love you ! :)

to adela : hello chinese partner ! thank you for being there to gossip with ! and thanks for the music box too ! :) love ! 

to ben/marc/choo : THANK YOU ! for everything ! like the flowers , the big dog and the yummy lunch ! and always being with me !  i love ya'll long time ! :)

to adrian : thanks for the company ! :) love !

to my lovely brothers : thanks for the TH bag ! i love you ! :)

more updates soon !

and becs ! it was so nice talking to you ! big hug ! :)

promo results out ! and i didn't do well , as expected . 

but i REALLY thank god that i still can get promoted . 

this year i've been bumming around doing nothing , just going and going like a cyclone . 

and its kinda bad , i have nothing concrete . 

i'm fucking gonna mug harder , i swear ! 

but i'm happy majority of the class is getting promoted .

and apparently , we're one of the better arts class . yay T10 !

we must follow in the footsteps of our god-like seniors ! :)

ALL THE BEST TO THE 'O' LEVEL TAKERS ! :)

ya'll can do it i'm sure ! 

matthew : you can do it ! don't give up !

sebastian : go man ! and then come to cj ! :)

ALL THE BEST TO 'A' LEVEL SENIORS ! :)

to 2T10 : thanks for being the best seniors ever ! for all the encouragement and stuff !

marc v. : thanks for the "you won't fail la .. and yada yada" thing ! :)

daniel : thanks for arranging the class outing during the sports carn ! :)

anyway , i brought my laptop to school for PW on monday . 

and as USUAL , T10 can't stand not cam-whoring . 

so , we cam-whored and got a haul of 100 photos ! :)

all veh veh pretty ! damian was in some of them too ! haha , after much hesitation .

too bad chiaps neh join us . :( not a complete teapot team ! :(

haha , usually its just me, chiaps, twin and gong . we're the CW team ! 

the pics will be up on my next post .

i'm really really starting to love my class , we bond through camwhoring , that's true ! :)

but still , although our personalities are veh diverse , we still try to tolerate each other .

22nd October 

all J1's either went to BMT in Pulau Tekong or OCS ! 

it was freaking tiring !! oh but i LOVE the shooting part !

do you know i've ALWAYS wanted to hold a gun ?

i have this fascination with guns cos they're so sophisticated and all . :) heeheehee

and i shot 2 targets today ! (fake one la)  bulls-eye ! :)

we saw cola's brother too ! muscular uh .

hahaha , and we tried some army food . zomg , so not nice !

john john helped me get the fibre bar , sucks to the shizzz ! 

hahaha , and during the intro talk , half of cj slept ! so cute !

some of us were late so be sat on the grey chairs at the back . 

uncomfortable ttm ! we cldn't sleep at all , no matter how i twisted and turned . :(

we had a fun time disturbing ah girl though . hahah , gong is one great disturber .

camwhored as usual on the bus and on the ferry , haha . we're everywhere .

and i HAVE to tell you , tekong is really quite nice . MUCH better facilities than OBS !

p/s liang sheng ! so sorry i have to keep post-phoning, but i can't make it this weekend ! 

I'M SO ANXIOUS ABOUT TUESDAY !

(for non-cjc-cians , tuesday is THE day when our results are out !)

i've been a bundle of nerves since this morning ! zomg .

i should stop worrying like all my friends say . 

i REALLY need a hug , now . 

anyhow , thanks mag , agu , ben , cj , marc and choo for taking my whining . i'm a whiner i know.

sorry ! this post is abit sala . :(

its upside down . hahaha . 

PROMOS ARE OVERRRRR !

there's were so many feelings and thought rushing through my mind earlier .

i don't know which one is accurate , seriously .

there was relief , elation , a little regret , a lot of inner happiness and a kind of satisfaction.

then my beloved class went for a class outing ! :)

i'm so sorry i cldn't join all of you for a movie ! i was dead beat . :( 

i'll make it up to you ! ( which reminds me of our fund-raising )

so after our class lunch , PPSF , adela , fel , meixi and i went walking around far east .

then fel went home , mx and adela had AC gathering and PPSF and i went walking .

like really walking , aimlessly . we were 2 gossiping zombies walking till we cldn't take it any longer . 

we had to take a cab home . hahaha , so tiring ! 

so anw , now that promos are over and i have a few days to spare before hardcore PW starts , i shall show you my plan ! :)

(if you want to know , my hols is nth like one . i'll put everything up once i've complied it . )

wednesday : day out with mummy ! :) and maybe dinner 'celebration' ?

thursday : zoo , tuition , supper ! :)

friday : BNJ PARTY WITH BC ! :)

its so fun-filled and according to iffah , we don't have to go to school on friday ! 

oh please let Mr. R be truthful and not a prankster ! 

oh oh ! and since promos are over and i'm kinda free , i shall put up long lost photos ! :) okay , not really but , from a few mths ago ! :)

(its up there !)

p/s thanks to all who have showed concern over the last post ! 

i'm fine now . that was just an abrupt emotional post ! 

i lurbex chewxz allx manyxz manyxz ! :)